Dear Ones,
Would it be bad to admit to y’all that I still sometimes forget that I am a spiritual leader? Especially when bad things happen in the larger world.
I remember to do the small things that I’ve always done, like reaching out with love to those that I think may be more directly impacted—whether they be friends, family, congregants, or community partners. These things just feel like me being me, me being Kellie not Rev. Kellie.
Often, it isn’t until a few days go by and I start seeing other leaders issuing statements that I remember I am a leader too and, just maybe, my “people” need to hear from me now. Even though I still feel very small and ill-equipped. Even though I have no answers.
It usually starts with me reading a social media post, email, or article that I would like to share with y’all, either because it brings me comfort or because I think it addresses some of our congregants’ needs. Sharing other people’s words has been the most reliable way to get me to share my own. I like to say that I’m an editor first and a writer second.
This time was no different.
Today’s reflection came from the desire to share an article from The Washington Post for all those who love and care for children: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers, and teachers: Helping kids cope with the barrage of scary news by Michelle Kinder. We have uploaded a PDF of the article here.
Although the article is over 6 years old, the recommendations are just as helpful today. You’ll notice the final recommendation is to lean into routine and ritual. Kinder says, “Children rely on routines and predictability for a sense of safety within their little universe. Build in comforting rituals that generate energy, laughter, joy and a sense of purpose.”
Our Unitarian Universalist faith gives our children rituals that they can hold onto during difficult times, just as it gives us adults variations of the same rituals. Often, I find that the rituals I offer others impact me more than I expect. It’s like I keep forgetting that I need these rituals too: sharing a joy and a sorrow: sharing a rose, thorn, and bud; releasing my thoughts to the page; placing a stone/shell into water; lighting our chalice and watching the flame; singing both joyful and sad words, ending the meeting or day with a gratitude; on and on.
The next piece that I would like to share with you is a 10-minute meditation on grief by Buddhist teacher Roshi Joan Halifax from the On Being Project. Once again, this mediation is from several years ago, yet it is still helpful in this time of great pain and sadness.
Whatever you believe about the Hamas attack on Israel and Israel’s military response, you can share in the profound grief of this time. May we each remember that some of our local Jewish and Muslim neighbors have lost loved ones in the current violence and now are themselves the targets of violent antisemitism and Islamophobia. In order to find our way out of despair, we must allow ourselves to feel the pain of grief.
Finally, I share two resources from our larger faith, the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA).
Our Executive Vice President, Carey McDonald, wrote a summary for the UUA staff regarding our history of engagement on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. McDonald writes:
Public statements of the UUA on societal issues are based on votes of delegates from our member congregations at the annual General Assembly. While there have been a number of historic statements adopted by the GA on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, including a fairly comprehensive resolution in 2002, recent votes have been fraught and a number of proposed statements have failed to pass. Debate around a business resolution related to boycott/divestment/sanctions in 2016 which did not pass, in particular, was hurtful to many UUs with different perspectives and identities.
The UUA is working quickly to create and curate tools for our congregations and communities. They hope to have these released in the coming weeks. As I receive resources, I will share them so we may move forward together.
To close, I leave you with words from our UUA President, the Rev. Dr. Sofía Betancourt:
Beloveds, I invite you to stop what you are doing if you can and sit with me in the depth of this tragedy. How to reconcile the cost of occupation and of war? How to nuance two very real histories of oppression and violence? I am holding close the words of U.N. Middle East peace envoy Tor Wennesland who said: “This is a dangerous precipice, and I appeal to all to pull back from the brink.”
We as a people of faith can condemn violence against civilians while at the same time engaging the full legacies and histories of oppression that shape such devastating conflict. As a faith tradition, Unitarian Universalists have long worked for peace, and our principles and values call for the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all. At the same time, we have not engaged the tangled issues surrounding Israel/Palestine in community since 2018, and our last engagement resulted in severed relationships, and deep pain.
I pray for the people of Israel and Palestine. I pray for leaders around the globe who must respond to this latest flare of violence and the untenable ethical considerations that abound. I pray for Muslim and Jewish UUs who experience the impact of this long strife acutely. I pray that those of us less likely to know the trauma of unending brutality and harm will not turn away from generational loss, from the devastating realities and their root causes, or from the relentless tragedy of war and occupation. Be gentle with yourselves when you need to be, but do not turn away unless you must. We are one global family living tenuously on the same human-impacted Earth. Let us center ourselves in justice as we call for peace.
Many of us feel small right now facing the horrific violence in Israel and Gaza. We are not alone in these feelings. Let us attempt to connect with one another to find the answers together. Please join me in praying for the people of Israel and Palestine, our world leaders, and all our Jewish and Muslim kin.
I am holding you in my heart and pray for your flourishing.
With much gratitude and love,
Kellie