Dear Ones,
Yesterday, as part of my study leave, I participated in a small group conversation with Kai Cheng Thom, the keynote speaker of my upcoming UUMA Institute (our ministerial association offers this professional development program every three years). I share this experience with you here in our congregational meeting packet because it impacted me deeply AND it has everything to do with where we find ourselves in this current moment of history, as individuals and as a religious community.
Kai Cheng describes herself as a writer, performer, cultural worker, speaker, and lifelong student of healing and (inter)personal growth. She earned two graduate degrees in mental health and several certifications in a wide range of healing disciplines. In creating our time together, Kai Cheng relied on her formal education and her wealth of lived experience as both a healer and a person seeking healing.
Kai Cheng used a loose agenda for our time together and joyfully adapted it as she learned the needs of our group. Throughout our conversation, she helped us hold space for our feelings of anger, sadness, despair, inadequacy, grief, and hopelessness. The act of naming our feelings is powerful. In 1964, James Baldwin wrote, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.” Our worship services and small group ministries allow us to discover these deep connections together– learning that we are not the only ones who struggle– learning that we can hold one another with tenderness.
Kai Cheng led us through a somatic embodiment exercise that connected our breath to the universe, reminding us that the universe is always expanding and contracting. Expansion and contraction are constant in the universe. What if we could use this knowledge to reframe contraction as positive?
In order for us to inhale a deep breath of oxygen (expansion), we must exhale the carbon dioxide that our body has made (contraction). Both are natural, necessary, and Holy. The contraction has not been caused by a mistake or a poor-quality product; it is simply the second half of a dance we humans do with the trees, providing what the other needs to survive and thrive. Interdependence relies on both expansion and contraction.
This inspires me (and I hope you) to reflect on these questions:
- Can we view MVUUF’s membership contraction as a necessary step to enable expansion?
- Can we see ourselves as a healthy organism preparing to inhale?
- Can we identify the trees in our community landscape, the organizations that provide us oxygen and rely on our carbon dioxide?
- Can we consider ourselves a mutual aid organization that facilitates interdependence (inhale and exhale) within our congregation and among our larger community?
Imagine what we can create when we view contraction as a healthy and necessary part of life, part of each breath we take. Imagine what we can accomplish within our own doors and with our community partners: Miami Valley Immigration Coalition, Have a Gay Day, Gem City Market, Gem City Action, Faith Choice Ohio, Dayton Black Pride, LGBT Center of Greater Dayton, Q+ Health Alliance of Montgomery County, Interfaith Forum of Greater Dayton, St. John’s United Church of Christ, UU Justice Ohio, LEAD, and many others. These are the thoughts I focus on when I start to feel anger, sadness, despair, inadequacy, grief, and hopelessness — all the feelings that Kai Cheng helped me (and a small group of ministers) name and hold with kindness.
Yes, we ministers feel all these things right now. We feel incredible pressure as faith leaders to keep our congregations alive, to meet the needs of our congregants, to stop our country’s headlong charge into fascism, and to protect the most vulnerable in our congregations, our larger community, and Earth herself. Some of the pressure comes from this moment of history and our deeply held UU values. Some of it comes from ourselves—many of us have mean inner critics that are not easily subdued. Some of it comes from white supremacy culture’s focus on perfectionism and performance (we’ve all internalized these messages unwittingly). Some of it comes from congregants whose anxiety transforms into criticism.
Being together and seeing that I’m not the only minister who feels this way was healing. I felt so grateful that these ministers are in the world right now—so grateful that I have a group of people to learn with and learn from—so grateful that I am not holding the weight of the world by myself. I know, I know—it should have been obvious, but sometimes I forget. :/
What does any of this have to do with our January congregational meeting? Nothing and everything.
We are all living in this terrifying moment of history. We all share the same UU values. We all love our congregation and want it to survive and ultimately thrive. We are all trying to find answers to both the big and small questions of our lives. We all have no idea what is going to happen in our country and on our burning, Beloved planet. Some of us are struggling financially. Some of us are struggling emotionally. Some of us have lost people we love through death, incarceration, or political difference. Some of us have lost our careers and/or our homes. Some of us have lost our health. And many of us are exhausted, bone tired.
How do we handle this pain—this pressure?
We keep returning to MVUUF with kindness and love. We remind one another that we aren’t alone in feeling these feelings, carrying these burdens, and trying to make a difference. We return to MVUUF to serve others and to be served by others. We express gratitude for the ability to serve and the love we receive. We realize that our attendance is about more than meeting our own preferences (we often do not realize our impact on those around us—sometimes our attendance means a great deal to someone else). We remember that we do not have to do all things all the time. We remember we are in a fight for justice that began with the beginning of humanity. We will not see the end of it. While some of us rest, others will keep showing up with courage and others will be creating moments of joy for us all to share. We are better when we are together.
Our shared ministry is lifesaving:
- I am excited about the proposed Vision and Mission statements. I am very grateful for all the hard work of the vision mission task force. I believe the statements will show the larger community who we are and focus our work in meaningful ways.
- In addition to working with the vision mission task force, I have supported the board’s governance task force and the restarted right relations committee. While these are two very different teams, they both are doing incredibly important work. The governance task force and board will present new rightsized bylaws for approval at the June congregational meeting. The new bylaws will help us reduce burnout and strengthen our leadership development. Meanwhile, the right relations committee is completing a new UUA training and will start working with the congregation to improve our skills with direct communication.
- Our board has continued to do some real heavy-lifting this fall, working with Rachel Maxwell from Stewardship for Us to launch our strategic planning process next month (February 2026). Please, please, PLEASE make time to attend one of these listening circles. We need to hear your voice and we need you to hear each other’s voices. Please give our outgoing president, Antonia Harter, your most heartfelt gratitude for her three years of service. Antonia, thank you for jumping into the deep end with grace and good humor!
- I am so grateful to all the congregants who sent love and support to our administrator, Jennie Freiberger, during her extended medical leave. I cannot even express my gratitude to those who helped me cover her duties so we could continue paying her salary. Thank you, Kris Steel, CQ, Lynn Buffington, Brianna Kempe, and Emily White!
- During my time with MVUUF, I have been blessed to hire, supervise, and work with incredible staff members. Here is our current staff team:
- Brianna Kempe is in her seventh year as our bookkeeper and we rely on her heavily for her high level of accounting expertise and integrity. During Jennie’s medical leave, Brianna streamlined many of our financial processes, greatly improving efficiency.
- Somaya Bernard is in her sixth year as our director of religious education (starting the week we closed the building for COVID). I am grateful for her experience as a denominational youth leader and it has been a real joy to see her professional growth.
- Cassia Patten is in her third year and Latuisha Harvey is in her second year as our Children and Youth Religious Education (CYRE) teachers. While they have different styles, they both meet our children with love, respect, and curiosity.
- Jacob Nolin finished his third year as our youth advisor in September so that he could focus on his master’s degree practicum in counseling. While I am sad to see him leave our staff team, I’m excited for his future career in counseling. We are also very fortunate to have been able to hire one of the youth group volunteers, Kurt Zimmerman, as the advisor. Like both Somaya and Jacob, Kurt grew up in our fellowship and has UU values flowing in his veins.
- Meredith Plummer has been a true gift from the Spirit of Life (aka – a real godsend). They began as our director of membership in July after serving as the director of religious education at First Unitarian Church of Cincinnati for 16 years. In October, Meredith accepted an additional position with us as our acting administrator, increasing their hours from half-time to full-time. Meredith jumped into both positions with enthusiasm and expertise, filling gaps that I hadn’t realized were even there. In the months ahead, I will work with the Board and Meredith to merge these two positions.
- In 2025, I joined the Q+ Health Alliance of Montgomery County. In November, I was a presenter in an adult faith development class offered by the local United Church of Christ district. This year (2026), I begin a two-year term as the vice president of the Interfaith Forum of Greater Dayton (after serving as a trustee at-large in 2025). After my vice presidency, I will serve as the president for two years. Our theme for 2026 is “Transformation in a Time of Change.” MVUUF will host one of the five planned theme events. This month, I was one of five clergy who offered reflections on MLK’s principles of non-violence at the Annual Dayton Mayor’s Interfaith Community Leader Breakfast. I also offered a short presentation on Unitarian Universalism to the Dayton Women’s Interfaith Discussion Group.
- Thank you to everyone who completed my annual ministerial assessment this autumn! This year, the committee on ministry received 28 completed congregant forms and five staff forms. These assessments help me, the Board, and the Committee on Ministry understand what you appreciate about my ministry and what you hope for our future together.
- 2025 was a heavy year for pastoral care. We had our highest number of families receive gifts from our pastoral care giving tree (eight families). We had more congregants looking for work than in the worst part of the COVID pandemic. The combination of AI hiring tools, tariffs, and DOGE cuts has made job hunting feel impossible. I am incredibly grateful for your generous donations to the Minister Discretionary Fund so that we could provide aid to one another during this difficult time. I continue to be floored by our amazing pastoral care committee, who keep on showing up for our congregants with love.
- Can you believe that we’re on our third year without a director of music? While you’re handing out thank-yous, please go find our music leaders, Jeff Bohrer and Ian Hogan. We would have been SUNK without these two gifted and generous music leaders. It has been a joy to collaborate with them and watch them grow as lay leaders. To reduce the load they’ve been carrying, we are in the process of hiring a music leader for two Sundays a month. Fingers crossed that we find someone great!
- As a congregation that started as a lay-led fellowship (without a minister or staff), MVUUF has a strong commitment to shared ministry, especially in worship. A long-term member once told me that they used to advise visitors to attend at least a few services because each service can be so different. Although we are blessed with a wealth of worship talent among our ministers, staff, and lay leaders, this is still good advice! I encourage our members to support our lay leaders by offering open minds and hearts, remembering that preferences should be challenged from time to time. Diversity makes us whole.
- As this is my eighth year with MVUUF, I am starting to plan my second sabbatical during our next program year (2026-2027). I will work with the board to determine the exact timing and hire a part-time sabbatical minister. We’ll keep you posted!
During Kai Cheng’s embodiment exercise, she shared that a friend of hers, Corinne Diachuk, loves to say, “Gravity is proof the Earth wants you here.” Interdependence is all around us. We need each other because we belong to one another. Through inhalation and exhalation, expansion and contraction. I hope you will keep returning to MVUUF with immense kindness and courageous love.
I pray for your health, growth, and flourishing.
With much gratitude and love,
Rev. Kellie Kelly